Have you ever had a chip on your tooth, or rather, I guess you'd call it a chip out of your tooth, and your tongue won't leave it alone?
Well, that's what I have going on. I've tried to see it in my little hand held mirror, because I haven't had a bathroom mirror in weeks.
All I know is, my tongue, seemingly with a mind of its own, will not leave it alone. And it's driving me a little crazy.
But then the status of the bathroom is driving me a bit crazy, so I'm edgy to start with. I have been taking my showers by the light from the hallway ceiling.
What's really driving me batty is that nothing at all is being done. Five days of nothing being done! I know it is no one's fault at this point. But still, the utter aggravation!
Kenny is back at work, but is so behind on work orders that I am far, far down the line.
I started reading another book: "This Is Not Over."
It's a suspenseful tale about two women who only know one another via emails and texts.
Miranda is a host who rents out a California cottage for infrequent stays by couples and families wanting a little vacation.
The other woman, Dawn, is one of the clients who rented her cottage, for a long weekend getaway with her husband.
Dawn gets upset after she and her husband spend good money for this getaway, and she is quite disappointed with their stay.
In her mind, her dissatisfaction is due to things about the rental that did not meet her expectations. At least she has pin-pointed this event as being the culprit for her unhappiness.
So she writes a bad review on the site where Miranda lists her rental. Which enrages Miranda and hurts her business. Then Dawn takes it a step further.
Then they both start taking things a step further. And further.
These two women started out as decent people. But their mutual dislike starts to take over as they focus on the other as being the bearer of all bad things that are currently happening to them.
Miranda is in her late fifties. Her husband is a doctor and makes good money. But their only child is 27 and an addict. And is a source of continual draining of her own resources.
Her husband cut him off and he thought she did too. But she cannot seem to cut all ties with her child. And so she is secretly funding what she hopes is his rent with the money she gets from renting out her parents' beach home for these getaways.
So she needs that money. Because she cannot afford for her husband to find out what she is doing. And if something happens to her adult son, she knows she will blame herself somehow.
Dawn has gone back to school and is about to finish her degree in Communications. But as she nears the end of her education, she realizes she doesn't really know what she wants to do when she graduates. Which is making her more than a bit anxious.
She came from a poor and dysfunctional home and has tried very hard to put distance between who she was then and who she is now with her husband.
And somehow she has come to blame Miranda for all the evils in the world. Likewise, Miranda has come to focus all her troubles on Dawn.
It is a very interesting read. I can't wait to see how they end this feud.
It is written by Holly Brown, who is a practicing marriage and family therapist, and has a blog, Bonding Time, on Psychcentral.com.
I imagine she has seen all manner of infighting between people as a therapist. And that comes across in the emotional actions of her moody and ambivalent characters.
In a sort of parallel way, what's happening with these two female characters is sort of what's happening with me.
With the bathroom project stalled, I find myself being apprehensive and more anxious about other things. The fact that I have no control over the situation seems to be ratcheting up my anxiety.
And so tomorrow I will tell you about the visualization techniques I have begun again to ease me off to sleep at night.
Twenty years ago I had books on visualization, but have somehow lost them along the way. Back then I read and read about meditation and visualization, and ways to soothe yourself when anxiety is consuming you.
For me this skill, or mindset, is very relaxing and beneficial to sleep. And I hope it will help some of you as well.
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