I will go to lunch with my daughter and Andrew soon. I am taking some seedless grapes for him.
He will be the highlight of my day.
I stare out the patio doors at the tree branches hovering over the gazebo top, shadows that dance in the wind.
I didn't think that my moon flowers seeds had taken hold.
But just before dusk the other day, there in front of me was a dazzlingly beautiful white flower.
A surprise that made me smile.
(Before dark, as the flower is opening up)
It will be stunning in the moonlight.
These little things I look forward to.
The little wren that has been hopping along the fence lately. My huge metal sun that greets me each morning on the patio.
There is a softness about morning. A yawning slow softness that covers me like the layers of a spider's web. Holding me still so that I pause to enjoy all the little things.
Like the sipping of coffee, steam curling in the air above my favorite mug.
Sitting here gazing at my gallery wall full of nature at its best. Horses and cows and a field full of blue bonnets.
This gallery wall relaxes me, while the one before it energized me.
My bamboo blinds in the front window filters out the sun that shines so brightly this time of year. It is like sitting in a semi-dark cocoon, the only sound that of the air conditioning going off and on.
How I love mornings!
Walking into my colorful kitchen to prepare breakfast, slicing a few strawberries.
Looking out the kitchen window at the patio full of plants. The setting that I alone created and that gives me such undeniable pleasure.
I can see the pepper plant which is growing so tall, the strawberry plant that has spreaders reaching down through the holes in the metal plant stand.
I find myself being so reflective this time of day. I think about how my life has shaped up so nicely after all.
I think about how I will turn 60 next year. And how I wouldn't trade where I am now to go back to 50 or 40 because I have so much more wisdom at this time in my life.
I now fit into myself like a hand in glove.
There is something to be said for growing older. I guess the best thing about it is that you are indeed still "growing."
Like the moon flowers that wink at me in the darkness. The vine that wraps and twines itself higher and higher up the fence, growing as I write this.
Did you know that the flower is only good for one night? Then it folds into itself, and the bloom above it will open next.
An orchestration that only Mother Nature could plan.
So many things to look forward to. So many possibilities.
Though the world outside is weary from recent violence (I wish it would stop!)
I know that means I must hold my happiness more tightly because it is so precious.
Here, inside my little apartment, there is such life-affirming peace.
Better grab those grapes before I forget. I'm going to see my little blond-headed Andrew.
And I'm going to grab hold of his delightful laughter to bring home with me to enjoy later.
"I owe no explanations for my flaws. I don't have to justify my mistakes, my past, or my insecurities. I am growing and learning. Let me live." - Author Unknown
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